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Chapter 4: Bad Mom

This week has been extremely hectic for me to the point that I’ve questioned myself as a mom.

Yes, we all do it but I felt especially overwhelmed this week. I have so many projects , obligations and responsibilities that I feel like sometimes I want to give up.

My daughter has made me feel extremely guilty for having to work longer hours on certain days  and it has made me feel like a bad mom at times.

I decided to take a step back and remind myself that in order for me to provide for my daughter there are just certain things that I won’t want to do but I have to do. I would love to spend as much time with Zoë as I can but that’s not realistic.

Money doesn’t fall out of the sky and to be honest I just need “me” time sometimes.

My friends laugh at me because when I’m asked what I want as gifts or dream vacations I always respond “I just want to sleep in a bed that I don’t have to make”. As a mom sometimes I forget that yes I am allowed to be selfish sometimes and want time to myself to refresh and regroup.

I am a strong believer that yes a parents kids should be their priority but my mental health is also a priority and if every once and a while my mental health calls for “me time “ then that’s what I deserve and if that makes me a bad mom in certain people’s eyes then so be it.

I’ll never live up to society's expectations of what they’ve deemed being a good mom looks like so I have to do what I feel is best for my family and my triggers that then result in anxiety.

I noticed that when I am a little selfish and take that time to myself it actually makes me more present and patient with Zoë.

Just checking in to let everyone know this week has been a low vibration week so please know you aren’t alone. But still, I’ll Rise Again.

My life is similar to a Rolex. It’s not a stop watch, so shit don’t never stop.

Xo Nneka


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